You should know

9:37 p.m.

Here are five fast things you should know about me:

1. I’m a pen snob. Two words: Extra. Fine. I pity the fool who offers me a Bic pen.

2. Speaking of Mr. T, you should know I had a crush on him when I was six.

(Does anyone else miss the ‘80s?)

I remember having a serious discussion with my older brother about Mr. T that went something like this:

Me: “Do you think Mr. T is really that tough?”

Bro: “Mr. T is so tough even his mom doesn’t know his real name.”

Me: “Whoa.”

That conversation really happened.

3. I sometimes read books backward or start in the middle. I then try to piece together what happened. You should try it. It’s fun.

4. I can be unnecessarily competitive. In grade school, we had reading comprehension tests.

I never read the content. (See #3) I went straight to the questions and tried to find the answer by skimming the copy. I didn’t care about being right; I cared about being first.

That was a winning academic approach, I assure you. (“Kate, state schools aren’t for everyone. Maybe you should think about a vo tech.”)

5. Dumb rules drive me nuts. I’m not an anarchist. And, I have no problem with authority. But I do have a problem with dumb rules.

I mean, why is it illegal in football to fake out your opponent? It’s legal in every other major sport – soccer, baseball, volleyball, etc. But in football, it’s a false start. Dumb rule.

That is all.

9:56 p.m.

Dream jobs

9:15 p.m.

I’m constantly thinking of jobs I wish I had. Here’s this week’s list:

1. Talk show host. People fascinate me. I love learning their stories, their passions and what drives them.

I’ve even thought about starting a YouTube channel and interviewing my mom, my sister, my brother, my dog, my bird, my mom again, etc., until I have the “chops” for cable access. (Wayne’s World!)

2. Sideline reporter. But, only when the weather is nice. (My list. My rules.) No softball questions allowed. Coaches get paid big bucks. I should be able to bring the heat.

3. Sports Illustrated photographer. I want to be so close I can hear what the athletes are saying. That and I want one of those cool press passes.

Dear Sports Illustrated, if you’re ever down a photog, my iPhone and I stand ready. I’ll even buy those fancy pants with all the pockets.

4. Professional athlete. And, not because of the money. (Though I wouldn’t leave that on the table.)

I’m a maniac when it comes to working out. I’m never really totally nice but without my cardio, I’m part barracuda.

A caveat: This dream job list will have changed by tomorrow. Last week I thought I wanted to own a landscape company. Really.

Oh, that laughing you hear? It’s my family. They’ll tell you I haven’t mowed one single lawn in my life. Not one.

And, that’s supposed to stop me from owning a landscape company?

9:48 p.m.

Fearless

9:39 p.m.

Last week I received an awesome compliment. A colleague — whom I don’t know that well — introduced me in a meeting as, “This is Kate. She’s fearless.”

Fearless.

It was unprompted. It was unexpected. And, it made me think that the way others see us is often far from how we view ourselves.

Because clearly, stuff scares me.

Like heights. My hands sweat just thinking about the top row of a stadium.

And, clowns. It’s really anything with a mask. Creeeeepy.

And, you’ll love this one: prison. Yes, I’m afraid of going to prison.

No, I haven’t broken the law. But, I have a weird fear of being convicted of a crime I didn’t commit. And, being sent to solitary confinement.

Have I mentioned I’m an extrovert?

Fearless. Someone thinks I’m fearless.

How do I make the tape that plays in my head match my colleague’s image of me?

10:02 p.m.